Between work, family, and responsibility, it is easy to lose sight of who you are outside of the role of “dad.” Through my clinical work, many fathers report feeling like they’ve lost parts of themselves including energy, confidence, freedom, or connection to things they once enjoyed (Baldeo, 2025). The Restoration phase is about rebuilding those parts of yourself. It is a reminder that you are not just a provider, you are a whole person who deserves joy, purpose, balance, and care.

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Sleep is also an important part of restoration. Sleep can be in short supply with a new baby, but research shows that sleep deprivation has a major impact on mood, patience, relationships, decision-making, and overall functioning. Many fathers minimize their need for sleep, but ignoring it often makes stress, anxiety, irritability, and disconnection worse. Work with your partner to make small adjustments that protect the quality of sleep both of you are getting. This may mean taking shifts during the night, alternating who responds to the baby, going to bed earlier when possible, napping when the baby naps, or asking trusted family members for help so you can rest (Schöch et al., 2024).

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Restoration also means paying attention to the coping strategies you are using. Overworking, shutting down, spending excessive time on your phone, drinking more, or avoiding home responsibilities may provide temporary relief, but they often leave you feeling even more exhausted and disconnected in the long run.